Golden Yolk of Relationships

Disclaimer :

Firstly, I am not a relationship guru 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 . But I am writing this down just to note some thoughts and observations based on my experience. What you are about to read might solve All (or) Some (or) None of your relationship problems.

Introduction:

To many of us, relationship is like a black-box. We get amused about why some relationships are so special or disappointed on  why some relationships do not seem to be the way they are supposed to be.  I am sharing a perspective here in an attempt to unravel how our approach to various individuals define our relationship with them.

The Layers:

Imagine there are three layers of relationship as shown above. Ideally I would have loved to present an info-graphic here. Owing to my laziness , lets define these layers as follows  -

1, Innermost Core -   You have  a 3 am friend?  there you go.  This is the closest layer. Some salient features of this layer are as follows 

• There is almost zero fear of judgement from the opposite person in this layer. 
• We share our innermost feelings here. Some of them could be politically incorrect, some of them could be crass commentary. 
• The activities in this layer have highest influence in our behaviour or mood of a day.   
• You expose your weaknesses knowingly or unknowingly , remember there is no fear of judgement.  
• Emotional dependence will emerge over a period of time. 
• Examples include, Family members, Close friends or could be anyone else with whom you share such relationship. 

2, Interior Crust  -   You remember that guy in your previous workplace who used to have coffee with you daily but was never in touch with you after you joined in new job?

• You know you are being judged. You try to elevate your strength.  
• Mostly discuss and work around the issues which are related to our day to day problems. 
• You are more inclined to 
• No commitment or emotional dependency, but important for day to day business. 
• Activities involve mutual benefit, tend to look like transactions at the outset. 
• Examples like colleagues, classmates could be anyone else with whom you share such relationship.

3, The PeriPhery -   Do you have that one guy in your messenger list who sends you good morning invariably almost everyday? this is it.
 

Mobiles -- (dis)Connecting people!!

Mobile communication is a revolution undoubtedly. It was almost a dream come true for many people who extensively use mobiles today. If some one has dairy writing habit , its worth revisiting one of those days when mobile phones were not existing. If you are thinking this blog is pro-mobiles then you will be disappointed. There are a lot of good things in propaganda about these gadgets. Sometimes , foolishness overshadows human wisdom so much so that we fail to realize what we lost. That is because may be we get obsessed of things around us.

As we all know, communication plays a vital role in any relationship. But then, its like salt in a dish!! over dose might make it insipid. There is a threshold for anything and with (mis)usage of this device makes us cross this level in no time. Relationships have gone for a toss with this new way of communication. Everything is over communicated today ;Sorry needs to be over communicated er..!! i dunno whatever :-). Ironically one of the most prominent service providers says they are 'connecting people'

Be it of any kind , professional or personal every relationship is screwed. It all starts in a very nice and convincing way(curse in a disguise). Recently one of my close friend lost his mobile phone . He was disturbed (i thought for obvious reasons) as usual. But the reason he quoted was interesting and something which was no where in its place few years ago. His callers are getting annoyed because he/she was not recognized immediately or he/she felt ignored because my friend dint make a note of their numbers. Neither of these cases in my opinion deserve an explanation. But today we are compelled to give explanation to everyone for every silly thing. Life has just become more accountable.

Expectations in a relationship are now high as never before. Still worser would be the case of lovers in a budding relationship.I would suggest anyone who is newly in love or want to grow such a relationship to keep this gadget out of it(You might ignore also. mine is not a success story on this front :-)) or be prepared to give him/her explanation for not wishing good morning afternoon evening or about your lunch bath and other trivia. Believe me, these trivial things(history) are big enough to screw your relationship. Its no exaggeration if i say mobile phone has become a nightmare for people in sales field(ask any of your friends in a related field for more details :-)) .

We have also created new protocols of communicating with our dearest ones. The other day when i got a new job i tried sharing my happiness with some of my close relatives. I called up my uncle to inform him , having done that i was expecting my cousins(my uncles children) to call me and congratulate . But none of them did as anticipated, today they say i should call all of them individually and share the news. I fail to understand this logic. Where are those days when we used to call on a single number or write a single letter to share any news ? . Also everybody expects us to share it first with them. Where did this new protocol structure come in our personal life? are we realizing this? . Everyone of us are innocent victims of this new business.

What i would want to say is , lets not over communicate with anyone for any reason . The more you talk to someone, the sooner you get jaded of the relationship(remember salt in a dish :-) ). Lets not make the rich companies still richer!! . Lets try and spend more of quality time rather than quantity of time with our dearest ones . Quality time gives you memories. Quantity gives you haunting nightmares!!!!. so choose what you want :-).

No Respect to Unknown. !!!

hi. everyone.

I have been away from this blogging business all this while. Finally i have decided i should explore this . Interestingly , I found we people (at large.There can be exceptions) follow a pattern which is worth noting. And I have choosen blog as a medium to showcase my claim. Consider these scenarios:

1.The other day we(at home. in Family) were having some discussion about Mr Dhirubhai Ambani(Some contextual discussion) . My Uncle made a statement saying "Its out of pure luck which made what Mr Ambani is. "

2.One of my best friend working for a top most fund house says "No analysis works in market. Its only sentiment". While I argued sentiment can be tracked through analysis(I am not claiming my proposition to be right).

3.After all the success which Slum dog Millionare has achieved, some of the most admired movie stars(they once told getting oscar is their dream) shrug it away saying "Slumdog is no wonder.Its just that its made to meet oscar standards"

While there can be innumerable examples like this. Please donot take any stands on the above given situations. Lets understand the way these arguments are build. One think clearly we can say is we are masters(including me) of two things:

1. Being Critical

2. Disparaging

We get a lot of fun in being critical about biggest things in the world. May be that is because we get a lot of recognition in doing that? the price we pay for this is our respect. Also we enjoy de crediting biggest efforts around us. This I feel may be because as soon as we hear of a huge success we get into a denial mode and start finding silly,small reasons for other's success (Because we think onlines of why couldn't we rather than how could he/she ) ignoring all efforts by the candidate. I was actually wondering why everybody does it so similarly?? The reason (There can still be many) I felt is because we don't respect things which are not known to us. Also we don't respect things which we have not experienced. Had my uncle been appreciating the unknown(to him) hardships which Mr Ambani went through prior to Success or Had those big movie stars been thinking of what it took to make slumdog such a huge success or Had i been appreciating the importance of market sentiment :-) to analysis It would have just been a much healthier discussion. So.. should we start looking or listening to things little differently?? may be yes .